Today's Prompt is Evita: “Don’t Cry for me Argentina”
Victoria has asked today about what we want from other people; whether we want empathy and understanding, sympathy and whether we ever want to NOT talk about our migraines.
You probably wouldn't think it from my blog, but I didn't used to talk much about my migraines. People knew I had them, people knew I cancelled on them. People even saw me have to ruin parties and hide away in other rooms and leave everything early. I didn't really talk about how they affected my life every day, I didn't really tell them the extent of them. I didn't ever talk about what the pain feels like or how much it's ruining mine and my husband's life. I put on a brave face.
I guess the main reason I didn't talk to people about it in this way, and indeed, why I still only tell people through the medium of my blog and not face to face, is because I don't want to feel a burden on people, I don't want to just be complaining to people all the time, I don't know what reaction I would actually want from people if I did.
Would I want people to try and empathise? I think that would be very difficult to do and I'd probably just feel like they didn't understand at all if they did.
Would I want people to pour sympathy on me? I think that would just make me feel uncomfortable to be honest.
I want people to understand, and I want to tell them, but I want them to understand without any feeling of obligation in a response really. There isn't anything they can say which would make me feel better. When people try to fix my problem by suggesting things I should be doing, I find that so much more annoying than I know I should. But on the other hand, I wouldn't want what I was saying to be dismissed as thought it was nothing. So I really don't know what response I actually want from someone; I find it on the whole much easier if I point people towards my blog, hope they read it and understand better for it.
Maybe what I want is for people to be as annoyed at migraines as I am, but then I think it would feel as if that anger were directed towards me rather than the thing I'm being afflicted by which I think of more as a parasite feeding off me and my life.
I guess anyone I talk to in person about my migraines is in a catch 22 when it comes to their reactions really, but the most important thing I want from people is for them to listen. And when I make cracks about things such as 'it could be worse, I could have cancer' and the like, please realise that migraine is actually stealing my life away from me and any comments like that are just my way of trying to not make you feel uncomfortable about it.
Migraine Awareness Week is 1-7 September and is dedicated to trying to educate people that Migraine is more than just a headache and to try and raise money for Migraine research.
The Migraine Trust are funding a dedicated migraine research programme - the only programme of its kind in the UK. They need £130,000 to fully fund their new line of research and one hour of research can be funded by a donation of £35.63. Please donate to The Migraine Trust if you are able to and hopefully this research could bring us all closer to a cure.